Poor Beaver...

I didn't really catch the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday, but I did actually watch Lady Gaga's performance and I got to say it was pretty good. I question why is it that she didn't go over the top on the dresses and kept it rather simple. I'm all for her having the most outrageous dresses ever considering that it's part of what makes Gaga... well, Gaga, but this shows that keeping it simple still makes an impact.

But even though she fell when she got down from the piano, what made me do this was Justin Bieber's face during Gaga's performance. And I found his face to be the funniest thing ever. It was as if he was in a coma or maybe he got scared because he was attracted to a guy. His face was a total "DUH" moment. He didn't even move. Was his ass glued to the chair on did he have something stuck up his ass??? Ooh, I got it. Selena wasn't there next to him and he was all sad :( . Whatever the case, I looked for a picture of it and stumbled upon this one and I just had to put it in here. Have fun. Poor Beaver.

Breaking Ass...On The Honeymoon.

Just want to ask... What the fuck is the big deal about Bella and Edward's honeymoon??? They will have sex, just like every other married couple. She gets pregnant on her honeymoon??? How the fuck??? Every single day I go into the internet, I see a story about the honeymoon. Does everybody want to see only the honeymoon???

You wanna see two people having sex, WATCH PORN!!!!!!! Oh wait, porn is way to hardcore for teens, so lets have a vampire having sex with a human, which is way better for teens to watch. Give me a fucking break. If they are so into showing new pictures EVERY SINGLE DAY about the honeymoon, why would they sue someone for "leaking information" about the movie when everyone in the whole world knows they get married?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! its like the ending to New Moon where they have the most stupid cliffhanger ever. "Will you marry me?? *Surprised look*" The end. REALLY????????? What will he say???

Oh and we all know that the movie will end when she gives birth and I'm saying right now that there are two ways that they will end this one. She gives birth and they end the movie with her "dead", that way they can start the other one when she turns into a vampire, or they turn her, she gives an evil look (probably the first time she will show emotion), grab the baby and end it there. They are saying that the birthing scene will be gross and shocking but what I will find shocking is if Bella shows emotion considering that throughout every movie she shows nothing.

These fucking movies have one problem, once you start them, you are gonna have to end them. I will probably watch them, but a rent will probably suffice, that is unless I am dragged by some girl to see it. I guess Edward isn't gay, but still glows like a disco ball in the sun.

Fun Pictures #3

SHARK!!!!!!!

I just got back from watching Conan the Barbarian and I got a couple of complaints. First, the movie is not worth going to the theaters to see. Second, The 3D didn't work (there's a shock) and when they got it to work, it was really lame. And finally, there was a huge lack of "AHNOLD" in the movie.

But that's not what I am here for. I am here for sharks and I now that shark week was three weeks ago. As I was sitting there waiting for the movie to start, one of the trailers was for Shark Night 3D. Here where I have problem with these movies. In the trailer they show the shark eating people, but of course people still keep getting into the lake where the shark is.

So the trailer starts of all nice and cute with a group of college friends going to the lake. This is beginning to sound as an American Pie movie. After all fun and games, the black guy, who is water skiing, gets eaten by Speedy Jaws-alez. Honestly, this has to be the fastest swimming shark in the whole world. I watched the trailer again  and it shows the black guy dead, but I don't see anything. No blood on the water, no decapitation, has both his legs and I can see both his arms. Did that shark drown him without using his teeth??? So after he gets eaten, from what I can make out, the guys driving the boat get into an accident and explodes. Instead of going back to their homes and contacting the authorities, they decide to stay there and have fun!!! "So they got eaten by the shark. Who cares??? LET'S PARTY!!!!!" Really??? It's like they think that the only place where it's safe to swim is where the black guy didn't get eaten.

This movie is from the producers of Hostel, which I liked, ONE of the producer of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the director of Final Destination (that means #2 and #4)and that means that I'm really not interested. So, the characters decide to get into the lake, even though they have a pool in the house, to kill the shark. Shit, one of them goes "This is insane. It's a lake." while the other says "It's salt water." and that gets me confused. He says it's salt water but the synopsis clearly states that the are fresh water sharks, this could only mean that it's some type of Bull shark. I wonder if this movie will have a lot of bullshit.

You can see that there is someone that has the shark as a pet and let's him out so he can eat. I'm betting that by the end of the movie, that guy will get eaten by the shark. How do you spoil your movie with a 2 minute trailer??? The only "smart" person, from what I can see in the trailer is one of the blonde girls. She stays out of the water while the shark is following her boyfriend or I think it's her boyfriend, who cares??? But her smarts go down the drain when she decided to act as bait and gets into a shark cage. The reason for this??? So that the boyfriend can stab the shark. I don't know who is stupid enough, the blonde bait or the blond bait's boyfriend. And do we really need to see the girl bounce her butt before getting eaten by the shark???

If you go on a vacation and a shark kills your friend, will you go home to your family or will you go all hero and try to kill the shark??? And if someone gets killed by a shark why would you get back into the same lake where you know the shark is??? This prove that these movies are driven by the stupidity of the characters, same thing happened with Final Destination 5. I think this will be a "meh" movie, just like Conan.

Final Destination 5...Wait...

Here we are. Final Destination 5 is out and if you haven't seen it, you should keep it that way. They have done airplane accident, car accident, roller coaster accident, race car accident and for number 5, bridge collapse. Before I get into number 5, I have to point out something. If the roller coaster accident on Final Destination 3 was caused because of the camera falling on the track, how is it that the accident still happened when the guy that takes the camera on the ride gets off it???

I really wasn't expecting anything new with this one and to my surprise, I was right. If anything it made me laugh. Sure the deaths are original, but lacking on the "wow" factor. The bridge accident, while its happening in his vision, takes 3 or 4 minutes to end, but like every other entry in this series, the actual accident happens in 10 seconds (excluding the first one).

This will probably be hard considering that my mind is trying to repress the movie.First thing that seemed stupid is the part where one of the girls is doing gymnastics. While she is on the balance beam, a screw falls from the overhead vent and lands right in the middle of the balance beam sticking up. After all the jumping, and moving on the balance beam, the screw never tips over and she doesn't even touch the thing. After two "near death" moments, she falls and breaks her back, but they make it seam like she fell from 10 stories up.

The second one dies when a Buddah falls on his head. That happens after he falls from the massage table and having the acupuncture needles go the whole way into his body. All of this happens because his cellphone was on vibrate and it pushes a lit candle to some towels. How does a vibrating cellphone move a big lit candle??? That must be one hell of a vibrator. 

The third one dies... or rather, commits "suicide". She's the one getting Lasik eye surgery and everything goes wrong. Everything gets started just because the water cooler makes bubbles that knock down a paper cup with water that is sitting on top of it. How is that even remotely possible???? I have no idea. The water falls into a socket causing the machine to go over the safe limit of the laser. Nothing really happens, that is until the smart little girl decides to grab the "remote control" sitting on top of the machine. How does she know that its there when she never saw it??? And if she never saw it, how does she know it has a very big, red button with "Emergency Stop" written on it??? So, she obviously tips the control over and turns on the laser causing it to burn her eye and hand. She finally gets up and starts screaming "Help Me!" while her friends open the door to the office where she is. Wouldn't you think that if you have your friends right in front of you, you would go to them??? She doesn't. She screams again and takes a step back, AWAY from her friends causing her heel to break. Then she breaks the most weak glass window in the world causing her to fall on a car. Really???

After this, one dies when a wrench flies to his head, the black guy avoids death by killing someone else and takes whatever life the other guy had left. If this is the fifth movie, don't you thing that someone would have said something by now about taking other people's life??? So the gymnast's boyfriend tries to kill his friends to take their lives but gets killed while trying. Small little detail about the group that survived, they are so bland and boring I don't remember their names, the main girl in the movie never dies in the vision but they are treating her as if she did die and the most awesome character appears twice in the movie and he is not even part of the ones that survived.

Cut to a month later when the main guy and the main girl (the one that didn't die in the vision) are boarding a plane. Guess where it's going??? TO PARIS... And there is a guy that has a vision that the plane is going to blow up. What does the main guy do??? Stay in the plane as if nothing happened. If you have seen the first one then you may already know that this is a prequel. Main girl gets sucked out of the plane and into the wing and main guy gets burned alive. Oh, look, the black guy is alive. He's alive?!?!?!?! FINALLY!!!!!!!!! A black guy survives in a movie. Oh... The guy he killed was about to die because he had something in his brain which means... Yeah, the plane wheels fall on him, killing him. So much for having a little bit of originality.

For it to be a prequel, they really should have seen at least the first two movies to see what they know. If they could have taken the life of whoever they kill then why not say something on the other movies? Also, how is it that in the first one they never mention that someone had a vision before??? In this one they say that it has happened before, that other people have actually had visions. I like the inventive ways they use to kill people but I feel like they took the lazy way out here. Not really feeling the depth in the movie. Story, the same one as other movies and the characters are just there to get killed. You don't miss anything by passing on this one You are better off going to watch The Smurfs. Fucking Smurfs.

Theaters... Again???

Again with the theaters here... Why is it that they can't get anything right???

This is the first thing that showed me that they were going downhill. Miss-spelling, broken movies, dirty 3D glasses and broken chairs. I went to see Horrible Bosses today (after all the weeks waiting for it to release) and I saw so many chairs that were broken, the screen was dirty and as always, the smallest room in the whole theater. Not going to talk about the movie because it was great and funny. But there were two other things that caught my eyes and not in a good way.

First of all, I didn't know they made a movie called "Captain 2D" and that it was filmed in 3D. I get that they didn't have enough space to put America there, but why not abbreviate "Captain" and use "Capt." and put America at the end. Sure, everyone knows Captain America is what they wanted to do, but come on.

Second thing that caught my eye was the miss-spelling of The Green Lantern. How do you mess something like that??? Easy. Forget the "N" at the end of lantern. If only I can say that it was only on one theater, but I saw the mess in two theaters. Oh' and one of them was the one that miss-spelled The Little Fockers. Why do I even bother trying to write about the stupidness here??? No idea. Maybe I like to torture myself. Well, I actually had to sit through The Smurfs three times. If I can get through that, I think I can get through anything. Like watching the most stupid Final Destination movie ever...Why do you scream for help when your friends are right in front of you??? And why take a step AWAY from your friends if you need help??? DAMN IT!!!!! I guess I will have to actually do this crap...

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