You Sunk My Battleship!!!

Who hasn't heard those words??? And if you have heard them, that means that you have said them. Even if you have never played the Battleship board game, everyone knows "You sunk my battleship".


When I first heard that they were making a movie based on the Battleship board game, I didn't know what to think. A two-player, combat-strategy board game that will be made into a two hour, silver screen adaptation? Imagine that. Epic battles, battleships blowing up, sinking boats... Sure we have seen this in every movie that has been out and has boat in it, but this is a movie based entirely around this. A guy's movie... That is until the teaser trailer came out.



This trailer starts out good, considering that you can put any kind of story in it and it would seem OK. We see generic battleships with generic rock music in the background, with a generic guy on a beach with his girlfriend, who happens to be the Captain's daughter (there's a shock) and that he wants to marry her and blah, blah, blah. So the Captain decides to take him on a little International Drill so he can prove himself to his girlfriend's father. While in the water, they stumble upon an object that they have no idea what it is.

Here is where the trailer grabs my attention and not in a good way. This is a movie based on a board game about sinking battleships and they find something that they have no idea what it is, but let's give it the benefit of the doubt. For all we know, it's a sinking boat. Going back to the trailer, we see that the Captain sends none other than his soon-to-be son-in-law to go check it out. He gets to the object and... Wait a second, I think I changed trailers half-way into it because this looks like a transformer. No, this is still the Battleship trailer. OK, a sunken ship that looks all transformer-y. Maybe they want to go all futuristic with this. Anyways, he checks it out and finds a panel. Once he touched the panel, the "whatever-it-is" activates and sends a beam to the air creating a dome-like shield. This shield reminded me of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2".

Um... Did I miss something here??? This is a joke, right??? The "whatever-it-is" is actually an alien spaceship. AN ALIEN SPACESHIP?!?!?!?!?!?!? Where was the alien spaceship on the Battleship board game??? Was there a special edition that i missed??? I'm sorry, Hollywood, but this will not fly around here. How do you take a best-selling board game about battleships and put aliens on it??? Was there missing footage of Transformers Dark of the Moon that you just couldn't throw away??? I predict that in the end of the movie, Optimus Prime will come to the aid to the humans, win the battle and give a grand speech. Of course, that is considering that people will actually go see this. The people that probably will see this will be the ones that have no idea that Battleship is a board game.

Considering that the trend now will be making movies based on board games, watching this trailer, I don't have a lot of faith in them. You can't just take a board game and make a movie "based on it" and put in it whatever you feel like. If you are going to put whatever you feel like it in the movie, don't say its based on something that has nothing to do with what you put on there.